What’s Your Reason To Stay Alive?

Oleh pleaceid

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smile capture pleace.id

Some of the reasons for me to survive in this life are to maintain the feelings of someone who really, really loves me completely, namely my mother and my family. It’s been the last 1 year I feel like I want to end my life due to several factors, to be honest I’ve been diagnosed with a history of Depression, Anxiety & Overthinking.What am I actually thinking? One of the things that still makes me suffer until now is not fully loving myself, all this time I have been haunted by anxiety to the point where I cannot enjoy life. Always afraid of other people’s opinions, afraid of being disappointed, afraid of losing and so on. I often feel uncomfortable and tend to blame myself when I make mistakes. This anxiety really kills me, to the point that sometimes I don’t want to do anything so that my duties are stressful and my head feels dizzy and tired all day even though I haven’t done anything. It turned out that after I found out what made me suffer even more was because I didn’t enjoy the present, I seemed to be afraid of the past and the future that had yet to happen.

Aren’t you afraid of going to hell if you die?

Death/afterlife in my opinion is a thought about how life is now, I’ll give an example, this is according to my definition, want to debate? It’s useless to argue with me, because it’s true that in terms of your way of thinking, it doesn’t necessarily match/share with me, just go straight to the point. I do not believe that this life does not have a creator, the causal consequences will occur once while we are still alive, then when I was alive I often hoped that there would be a next life, yes, of course when I die it will happen. but if my mindset is the opposite because my life is because of the consequences that only once in this world is enough, and my mindset is sure that after death there is no eternal life. I will stick to my principles. that the creator exists and lives only once, so what is the cause and effect that humans have made? it is certain that the consequence is natural law where we live side by side with nature, namely we who now live on earth.

Still don’t understand?? okay like this… happiness = suffering, these two things are actually single, namely only one. If we are happy, we must experience suffering. if we win, we will definitely lose, if we lose, someone will definitely win, moreover, if we live, we will definitely experience death. then afterlife? depending on how we think as long as we are still alive. we call it trust.

If so, do you go to hell? if there is, I will surely go to hell if I am right” to commit suicide. Why is that? because it’s like when I was in the middle of my school exams I made a mistake which caused me to leave school so I only got stories & knowledge but didn’t get a diploma, what is a diploma that is a sign of identity that you adhere to certain teachings, which is when you adhere to belief A and you commit a sin it is certain you go to HEAVEN but you will go to hell first.. why go to HEAVEN? because again you have a certificate/identity that you are part of that belief just like the school. “No matter how bad you are part of it.”

so it’s clear why I’m still alive?? well of course the first thing is I really love my mother & my family, if both of them weren’t there, then I would have ended my life after their departure.


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